What would I ever do without this face?

I never realized before what a blessing a sweet little happy face could be when you are so sad. Today I lost my Grandpa Frost. What a blessing his life has been to me. Strange to think only 3 months ago he was holding Z telling me he looked just like him...because they parted their hair on the same side, both had dark hair, and tan skin. I laughed at this even though they did have all those similarities despite my grandpa coming from two white parents, his skin was amazingly bronzed.

My grandpa was the kind of man almost everyone seemed to know one way or another in Flagstaff; if not by his church service, for his horses, or service to those in jail, missionary work, help with widows and poor and pretty much anyone who needed it. It is hard to go anywhere in Flagstaff and talk to anyone for very long without hearing a story about how they know my grandpa. He has spoken at many funerals some even for the young men he served in church. He served a mission to Greece with my grandma when I was a senior in high school and during my freshman year at college. He was a friend to everyone and was always happy to see you; even if you were a stranger to him.

Once I took a friend with me to Flagstaff during Christmastime and we ended up out at his house. My friend was going through a tough time and he greeted her with a warm hug and big smile just as he did me. Later on he sung Christmas carols with her while my grandma played the piano. I have many stories like this.

I was privileged to be his very first grandchild. He now has 37 and several great-grandchildren with 5 more on the way! When I was born he was bishop of his ward, a note was passed up to him on the stand telling him of my birth which he then announced to the whole congregation. As his first, I count this as not only a blessing but a great responsibility to be all that he would expect of his grandchildren:
#1 You must always greet him with a big, "HELLO GRANDPA" and a big happy smile on your face.
#2 You must not do anything that would make his children (your parents) worry about you; staying out too late, dating someone who seems "a little wild," or not taking care of yourself.
#3 You must always look presentable when you are out of the house or when he comes to visit; "pajamas are for little kids on Christmas at noon, grown-ups get dressed and fix their hair for the day Ang."
#4 Marry the right person (this has many rules behind it....we won't go into all of them).
#5 Go to school, go to school, go to school. "Ang, I used to think college should just be for boys, but you need to go, all the girls in this family need to go."
#6 Everyone has a special gift or talent, "Ang, you have the gift to be healed, that is one of your blessings from the Lord, I believe that."
#7 "Babies love to be held and cuddled, there is nothing they love more. You will never regret the time you spend holding your baby." I just learned this lesson from him.
#8 Men need the out-of-doors, a good horse out on a ride in the cool breeze fixes most problems, a good gun on a good hunt sure does help too.
#9 People need to serve to be happy, you will never find a happy person who does not serve other people in some way, its just how happy people live. Sometimes letting others serve you brings them great happiness so just let them, they probably need it.
#10 "Always stay close to the Lord Ang and follow the prophet, you will never be sorry and always be glad you did."

He was such a great man and wonderful grandpa. I am so thankful for him tonight. I am also grateful to have my little Z; his smile makes me smile today, what would I do without that on a day like today? I thank the Lord for so many great blessings. Sometimes I can't believe He chooses me to bless so much, why me?

Happy Birth Mother's Day! A few days late...

but we did celebrate!

I tried to look up some images on Google Images using the words "birth mother" and then I tried "open adoption." Crrrreeeepy! None of them seemed appropriate to post as they portrayed birth moms in a negative way and one image was yes, really creepy. Some kind of alien type looking picture, where did that come from? So I am posting some of my own pictures from today.


We all (Steve, Norma, Sue, her mom, Zadok, and I) headed all the way up to the Northwest side of the valley for an adoption academy. In short this is a day of classes that teach the basics of adoption and its requirements to couples seeking to adopt. It seems like only a short time ago it was us going to all those classes even though its been over two years.

Norma, Steve, and I were on a panel of five talking about openness in adoption. We were joined on the panel by two sisters, ages 17 and 14, who had been adopted and saw their birth families regularly. It is quite rare to meet people who have had an open relationship with their birth families with adoptions that occurred that many years ago. We really valued and learned a lot from hearing their comments and afterward getting a chance to visit with their parents.

It has been interesting as time has passed since adopting Zad that my concerns over being so open with Norma have not been for us or him, but for Norma. She is seriously one of the greatest people I have ever met. Had we met in a different way and if she had never chosen adoption for her child I think I would still feel this way. The fact that she did choose adoption is only an outward sign of what she is inside. My biggest concern for her is wanting her to feel able to move forward in her life, get married, and continue her family (of course if she wants all of those things). At times I have been worried that having such a close relationship with us might hinder her in doing this. So I finally just brought it up with her on Saturday and I even asked the parents of these two sisters we met.

I was comforted to learn that both of the girls birth moms were married and had more children. I also learned that each birth mom had taken potential spouses to meet these adoptive parents, for their approval. I was happy to hear that this was Norma's plan as well. You see, I only want the very best for Norma. She truly feels like my sister and I don't want anything or anyone (including us) to stand in the way of the joy I believe the Lord has in store for her. So look out guys, we are very picky! If you don't believe me, ask my sister Laurie. I am SURE she will vouch for my discerning and scrutinizing taste.

I am so thankful that I feel our relationship is relaxing a bit with time. We talk about more than just Zadok, although I think we both agree this is our favorite subject. Who else can I go on and on with about how completely adorable he is. But I feel like we are getting to a place where we just call one another to meet up for lunch or talk about how great Sione and Filipe looked last night on The Biggest Loser! Which is exactly what we did yesterday!

We love you Norma...hope you had the very best Birth Mother's Day. You deserve every bit of it!


I had to include a picture of us at Fajitas! Our favorite place to eat in the Northwest valley. If you haven't tried it, it is definitely worth the trip! Shrimp fajitas....yummy!

My Grandma loves it...so do I

So my Grandma Frost has told this story about my grandpa and his dark hair for as long as I can remember. At night when they were first married and throughout their 50+ years of marriage she loves looking over in bed at night and seeing his dark hair (now a little more salt than pepper) on the pillow. She says it has always puts a smile on her face.

I wanted for years growing up to look over at night and see dark hair. I have grown to love the lighter blonder version on the pillow but I must say...it thrills my heart to walk into Zadok's room and see his head full of dark hair in the morning. I absolutely LOVE picking him up and feeling that soft full head of blackness against my cheek. I must say, there is nothing like it in the whole wide world. Just when I think it is my favorite part of him, he looks up at me with those dark eyes, a sleepy look, and a huge grin (even though he has just awoken)!

Yes, I have taken a little hiatus. Working, loving this baby, and getting back on my bike have had me a little busy, but don't worry...I'm back and have so many great things to blog about!