Happy Birth Mother's Day! A few days late...

but we did celebrate!

I tried to look up some images on Google Images using the words "birth mother" and then I tried "open adoption." Crrrreeeepy! None of them seemed appropriate to post as they portrayed birth moms in a negative way and one image was yes, really creepy. Some kind of alien type looking picture, where did that come from? So I am posting some of my own pictures from today.


We all (Steve, Norma, Sue, her mom, Zadok, and I) headed all the way up to the Northwest side of the valley for an adoption academy. In short this is a day of classes that teach the basics of adoption and its requirements to couples seeking to adopt. It seems like only a short time ago it was us going to all those classes even though its been over two years.

Norma, Steve, and I were on a panel of five talking about openness in adoption. We were joined on the panel by two sisters, ages 17 and 14, who had been adopted and saw their birth families regularly. It is quite rare to meet people who have had an open relationship with their birth families with adoptions that occurred that many years ago. We really valued and learned a lot from hearing their comments and afterward getting a chance to visit with their parents.

It has been interesting as time has passed since adopting Zad that my concerns over being so open with Norma have not been for us or him, but for Norma. She is seriously one of the greatest people I have ever met. Had we met in a different way and if she had never chosen adoption for her child I think I would still feel this way. The fact that she did choose adoption is only an outward sign of what she is inside. My biggest concern for her is wanting her to feel able to move forward in her life, get married, and continue her family (of course if she wants all of those things). At times I have been worried that having such a close relationship with us might hinder her in doing this. So I finally just brought it up with her on Saturday and I even asked the parents of these two sisters we met.

I was comforted to learn that both of the girls birth moms were married and had more children. I also learned that each birth mom had taken potential spouses to meet these adoptive parents, for their approval. I was happy to hear that this was Norma's plan as well. You see, I only want the very best for Norma. She truly feels like my sister and I don't want anything or anyone (including us) to stand in the way of the joy I believe the Lord has in store for her. So look out guys, we are very picky! If you don't believe me, ask my sister Laurie. I am SURE she will vouch for my discerning and scrutinizing taste.

I am so thankful that I feel our relationship is relaxing a bit with time. We talk about more than just Zadok, although I think we both agree this is our favorite subject. Who else can I go on and on with about how completely adorable he is. But I feel like we are getting to a place where we just call one another to meet up for lunch or talk about how great Sione and Filipe looked last night on The Biggest Loser! Which is exactly what we did yesterday!

We love you Norma...hope you had the very best Birth Mother's Day. You deserve every bit of it!


I had to include a picture of us at Fajitas! Our favorite place to eat in the Northwest valley. If you haven't tried it, it is definitely worth the trip! Shrimp fajitas....yummy!